Etiquette Tips: Seven Must Dos to Look Your Best From Top to Bottom

It’s the never ending, always going to be there, make it or break it first impression dilemma. After all, you never get a second chance to make a good first impression.  So here is a list of seven simple things to ensure you are groomed, pressed and polished for any occasion.

Using What God Gave You

While it is important to choose your clothing, make-up and jewelry to fit your age, size and occasion, what many forget is to start with what Mother Nature gave you:

OK, you’ve taken a shower and brushed your teeth.  You’re starting with a clean slate.   To make sure we don’t start off on the wrong foot, take these points to heart:

Perfume/Cologne: Light on the cologne, or even better, don’t wear it to work.

Skin – Keep it clean and moisturized. Use appropriate products for dry or oily skin.

Women and makeup: Go light on the makeup. The goal is to enhance. You will want to appear fresh and bright. Save the heavier stuff for evening.

Hands – Keep nails cleaned and trimmed. Women, save the flashy polish for evening .

Hair – Hair should be kept well groomed – clean, trimmed and styled. Save the bed head look for, well….just rolling out of bed. A good cut can eliminate a lot of primping time for men and women. Keeping it simple and fuss free can add precious minutes back into your day.

Oh, the hair in other places such as ears and nose…keep that trimmed, plucked or whatever it takes to get it out of site. Men, make sure beards and moustaches are neatly trimmed.  Unless you’re auditioning for the Geiko caveman role, the less hirsute the better.

Dress to Impress

Clothing – Yes, it is an age old problem where choosing the right clothing for an event is a book in itself. While there are many books out there to guide you along the way, the most important thing is to choose clothes that fit your size, age and the occasion.

Clothes that are too small or too large do you no favors. Invest in the best quality you can afford in order to compliment your frame.  Trying to look ten years younger might work well on date night, but not when you are going to meet a client or the boss.  If you are having difficulty deciding on what works best for you, bear in mind that there are a number of books and articles that speak directly to types of clothing that flatter various body types. Sue Fox, author of Etiquette for Dummies, provides great advice for assessing your wardrobe and adding new items. Other good reads are Frumpy to Fabulous Flaunting It by Natalie Jobity and The Style Checklist by Lloyd Boston.

Dressing for the occasion shows respect to others. Consider the message dress sends in the case of interviews, more formal occasions and meetings within various types of industry. Of course, you would not wear a suit or dress shoes to a luau at the beach. If you are dressing to impress, dress as if you have the position you are aspiring to obtain or like the individuals you will be mingling with. Bankers and accountants will dress much differently than those in “creative/artsy” careers. Always strive to look the part.

Shoes – Buy good quality shoes, making sure to keep them clean, polished and in good repair. People notice footwear more than you realize. Invest in good fitting, sensible shoes. If you succumb to fashion, as I do, be sure you can walk safely and keep those heels in repair. You can polish your shoes yourself as needed or treat yourself to a shoeshine. I know folks who take their shoes periodically to a cobbler for refurbishing. This adds years to the life of a favorite pair of shoes.  Also have a couple of pair of dress shoes so you can switch out your shoes when the occasion merits. This not only adds style points, it also adds years to their life. To prevent foot odors, invest in foot powders or sprays.

Hose – Or no hose? That is the question.  And it’s a tricky one. If you live in any of the hot southern states, hose (nylons) in the summer can be considered cruel and unusual punishment. If the occasion is ultra-formal or executive business where you will be in air-conditioning, I recommend going with hose. You will look more polished and put together. If you just can’t go there, be sure legs are clean shaven, buffed is better (gosh, did I have to say that!) and that you are not wearing sandals. Should your event be sandal approved, make sure you have a fresh pedicure and save all of but the classiest of flip flops for the beach. Men, keep your sandals for the beach or the most extreme casual of events like barbeques in your own back yard.

How Do You Define Casual?

What does casual mean nowadays? When in doubt, think of dressing one step down from what you would usually wear. Sliding beyond that is courting disaster.

Now Stand Up Straight and Smile

Ok, now that you are scrubbed, polished and sporting some classy threads, improve your look even more. Present yourself with confidence through your body posture.  Be sure to smile and make eye contact. You will be inviting to others and feel good about yourself. 

While this article didn’t attempt to cover everything, by considering the basics presented above, you will be assured of making sure that your first impression has you off to a great start.

Carolle Vargas is president of Your Etiquette Style, www.youretiquettestyle.com ,  a business etiquette and professional comportment training firm in Jacksonville, Florida.

Business Etiquette Training: Five Tips on Being a Great Dining Guest

Other than grabbing a bite to eat or heading out to dinner with friends, whenever a dining invitation is extended your way a couple of things may pop into your mind: “What do they want?” or “What’s in it for me?” Even when the answers are not obvious, always be prepared to be the “guest that’s the best” and your host will know they made a good choice in choosing you! 

The three top reasons you may be invited to a business luncheon/dinner (hint –per Ms. Pamela Eyering, President and Director of The Protocol School of Washington^® “It’s never because they think you are hungry.”)

1.       To say “thank you” – lucky you! You are a guest of honor.  If there are several guests, all eyes are on you.  Be attentive to not only table manners but also to other guests at the table.  
2.       To get to know you better. This is can be a beginning to a great business relationship, a job interview or promotion. People will take note of how you handle yourself. Do you contribute to the conversation? How do you treat wait staff? What do your table manners say about you?
3.       To contribute something. This may be as simple as being a guest that adds value to group dynamics or you may be asked for a favor or to participate in an endeavor.

No matter the reason, here are some simple tips to give you poise and confidence and set you apart from others. When you are at ease you help put others at ease.

Arrive on Time

Being punctual is being respectful of other people’s time.  On time is usually not more than 5 minutes early but never ever late. If the venue is a restaurant, reservations are being held for you and you may be keep other guests waiting as well. If you can’t avoid the unavoidable, contact your host and advise them of your arrival time.

Introduce Yourself to Others

Once you have been greeted by your host, feel free to mingle and introduce yourself to other guests. Usually a host will introduce you to a couple of people to get you integrated into the group. If this does not happen (your host may be very busy) introducing yourself to others indicates you can hold your own in a group and you are interested in others…which takes us to…

Be a Good Conversationalist and a Great Listener

Be prepared to engage in small talk, ask open questions about others and then listen. Most everyone has a favorite topic—themselves. If you are talking 50% of the time, you are probably talking too much. Avoid the top three no-no’s for discussion: politics, religion and sex. Other subjects to avoid are diets, health, gossip and anything negative. Remember good eye contact and, of course, never ever talk with food in your mouth. Speaking of table manners….

Mind Your Table Manners

The more crisp your table manners, the more poised and sophisticated you will appear. No one wants to be next to or observe a bore at the table. Often correct table manners are a matter of not knowing. Don’t be the one that doesn’t know because the ones that do know will know that you don’t know and that can impair your ability to make connections, establish relationships and be someone that others want to get to know better. Become familiar with place settings, napkin placement, styles of eating – American and Continental. Know what foods are OK to eat with your fingers and other details that matter.

Send a Thank You Note Promptly

Alas, thank you notes have become rare these days. Send a thank you by email and you may surprise your host. Send it by mail and you will surprise and delight! Always go for the surprise and delight –it is so worth it. To make it easy to send your thank you in a timely manner, address your envelope before you attend the event and write your note immediately after—then mail it! How to write a memorable thank you note, you ask? Instead of beginning with “Thank you for…” write something similar to “I felt special when…” “Your special touch of ____ was a highlight of the evening”, “I will always remember…”, “You really know how to…” You get the picture. 

Being a great dining guest is so much more than just which fork to use. It encompasses the entire interpersonal experience of everyone. To underline the importance of etiquette, author Harvey Mackay, author of Swim With The Sharks Without Being Eaten Alive, says “They don’t teach etiquette much anymore, but if you ever have to choose between “Incredibly Advanced Accounting for Overachievers” and “Remedial Knife and Fork” head for the silverware. 

Carolle Wells Vargas is Executive Protocol Director of Your Etiquette Style, a prominent business protocol and etiquette training company in Jacksonville, Florida.